The way the cookie crumbles
by fairyglitter101
Summary: AU Secret Service. When Natsu is triggered on a Raid, Lucy tries to understand. Inspired by Tumblr prompt.


_Inspired by a prompt on Tumblr._

" _You shot me. I can't believe you shot me."_

" _Can't you?"_

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 **Fairy Tail Fanfic**

 _Disclaimer: I own this story. Not the Characters._

 **Chapter One: Crumble**

Lucy gasped, "You shot me. I can't believe you shot me."

Natsu shrugged, "Can't you?" he said, not looking at her in the eye. He took out the ammo and placed the handgun on a spare plastic seat.

Lucy groaned from the ground, one hand placed just below her heart. It was going to bruise. Blowing air out of her nostrils, she pulled her herself up on her elbows, glaring at her partner. "But from that close …"

Rolling his eyes, he reached for the water bottle, took a large gulp and put it back down. Now he looked at her. "It's not like we haven't shot each other before."

Getting to her feet, Lucy looked down at her spare shirt, one that was often used to get dirty or allowed to be ruined. There was the small tear where the bullet passed through, just below her heart, no thicker than her pinkie. Plucking out the bullet from the vest, Lucy threw it to the ground dismissively.

"Not like that. You're mad at me. So you shot me like that." Like that. He was close enough the force took her off her feet. He was in a bad mood.

He was crazy. She was crazy. They were the crazy due of the little Secret Service force they had here.

"Maybe."

Lucy snorted, "Is this about yesterday?"

The room was still, empty besides them. They were the only people making due with the space at this hour. And rightfully so, it was three in the morning and Natsu couldn't sleep, so instinctively he would be here.

Lucy found him in a cold sweat with a broken punching bag.

Giving the writer a tight lipped smile, "I ain't in no mood to have you tell me what's wrong with me."

"But I think I do know."

Closing his eyes, "Lucy stop."

Placing one foot in front of the other, she slowly made her way towards him. "Natsu …" Voice tender with sensitivity.

Like her presence was causing him great pain, for each step Lucy took forward Natsu took back. It was a childish tactic, granted. But if the blonde let him go like this, when exercising no longer became a stress reliever, he would get worse.

Hence, him shooting her.

But they did do that all the time. It kept them sharp and ready. And it was done in the name of their duty, not some sadistic pleasure. They weren't _that_ crazy …

But some of their friends would argue otherwise.

"Natsu … It won't happen with me. You won't lose me. I'm not leaving."

It was a soft spot for him. A few previous years ago, before Lucy was recruited, because this was the type of place where you could only be recruited, Natsu had a partner before her. Lisanna.

Eye's snapping open. "Lucy." Voice sharp and direct, he stopped, dark eyes flashing with anger in the depths of them. "I know you care about me, but, my past before you came does not concern you." Walking closer to her, his voice softened with each step he took, placing his arms on either side of her. "I love you, I do." Planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're a great friend of mine. But I don't want you digging about Lisanna. She died in a fight. I lost her."

"You don't want to lose me too." She said easily, she knew this.

"Yes."

"But at the Raid a few days ago … something changed. It was like you were …" struggling to find a better word, "triggered."

Lucy knew by his silence that she was right.

"How?"

Knocking the water bottle of chair to make room for himself, ignoring the table he could have placed it on, he sat. Knees on elbows, head in hands.

"Raids are Raids, they're all the same. The setting where they happen is different, but how it all goes is the same. I know you know I lost Lisanna in a Raid, she died. Brutally. You know that too." Running a large hand through his dark pink locks he starred at the floor as he spoke. "I hated doing them since, understandably. I grew scared, they we're hard to go into. But I know if I don't start doing them, I'll forever not be able too, and I'll freeze …"

It clicked.

"You froze. You froze on our last Raid."

Lucy couldn't have known … she hadn't been here that long, barely a year, and slowly through the months has she learned about Lisanna. Human instinct of curiosity burned inside her, driving her to find out about the mysterious Lisanna that was Natsu's past, and dead partner.

And the last Raid, Lucy's first Raid … the writer didn't know how Lisanna had passed, or this was the first one Natsu had done in the last couple of years.

Yes, the Raid had triggered him. He frozen in there somewhere. Lucy hadn't seen it. But it had happened.

"My god, Natsu … I'm sorry!" Warm tears gathered in her eyes without falling, but clung to her lashes when she blinked.

Reaching out a hand to place on his shoulder, he shrugged it off. Ouch. She shouldn't have been surprised either, he practically had a personal space bubble that glowed around him. He was a serious guy. Though, a peak of the impish man inside him did come out now and then, just in the last few months had Lucy began to see it. That the stern facade was fake.

"When I was in there," he continued. "I froze. And I thought all the preparation I had done to come back would be enough to keep me on my feet. It wasn't. I crumbled and I felt so weak."

One tear slipped down her cheek.

Kneeling in front of him, Lucy looked at his face and waited until he made eye contact. His own tears streamed down his face. "You're not weak. One of the strongest people I know. And to go back, even after you lost Lisanna, is braver then I have words for."

He grunted.

Gently and slowly, Lucy's arms found their way to the side of his arms. This time he did not shrug her off.

"Natsu," a nagging thought made its way to the forefront of her brain. "That's not all you we're afraid of in there. Was it?"

It was risky to ask, especially when he was like this. But as Luce spoke, her words got stronger and more even. Leaving no room for doubt.

He shook his head.

"No. It wasn't. I felt like …" casting a small glance at his partner, "If I could go in there, with a new partner, and protect you … like I tried Lisanna, and succeeded, that in some way, in some sense that I have no words to describe with, I would have succeeded something. That I would be able to put the past behind me."

It made sense.

Except, nothing went to his plan.

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 **Authors Note: I don't know how this spawned out of me. I wrote it in one sitting. This is only a one two chapter story.**

 **Side Note to the review section. I support Nalu and Nali - Wild concept I know. And there will no love triangle in this story. Also,** **I like cooperating real issues into stories, serious ones like PTSD or Step Parents, not just love.**


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